End of a year. Beginning of a new one.

Its 31st December 2012. So, much snow outside that even the 'For Sale' sign outside our house is fully covered in snow! They say it has snowed so much in the past 3 weeks that it is more than what was the total snowfall over the past 3 yrs, here in Ottawa.

This year has been an interesting ride. January saw us experience spending a night in a very luxurious yet obv cold Igloo at the Ice Hotel in Montreal. March and April, we spent in India, celebrating the 1st birthday of my darling niece, in a huge bash attended by more people than might attend some weddings here. The summer saw us taking quite a few trips, the 1st being one I took solo to Las Vegas to meet my good ol' friend Rohini, who came for a trip to the US from Australia. Meeting her in Vegas for a few days and spending time with her and her gorgeous daughter Amelia and hubby Mani was awesome. June 1st was also a big day for us as we started our home study! After years of trying to convince Dee, he finally saw that he was only afraid of things that are ok to be worried about, but he had nothing to be afraid of. If he could love my lil niece to pieces, to whom he is not related to by blood, he could love any child who came in our life and became part of our family. So, we have Nini to thank for this big step, in a way. :)
We also took our annual Europe trip and had a wonderful time in Scotland and England, before coming back to Canada to continue our adoption process, trips to Toronto ensued for our PRIDE training that is mandatory for all adoptive parents here. A visit to my family in California was just what we needed in August when we were invited to attend a beautiful wedding in Napa Valley of Dee's friend at work. To celebrate our anniversary we took a trip to our favorite Couples Resort in Algonquin (perhaps the last one for a few years at least!)

This is not so much to share with the whole world, but to remember myself when the next year ushers in a very very exciting phase in our life. 3 trips to Kaz coming up hopefully, if all goes well. A new home (and hopefully our current one will sell soon and relieve me of my stress!), family coming over to meet our baby, a whole new life for us in a way. I am SO ready for this phase of life, and SO looking forward to everything 2013 has to bring. All I can ask and pray for is that give me the courage to handle any obstacles with a calm mind and a patient virtue, that my family remain safe and healthy and part of my life. Everything else will just be gravy.
Oh Little Baby! The new year is about to begin and never again will you spend a new year alone!
Cannot wait to meet you and hold you in our arms!
Love,
Mama.

Russia and US: Adoptions no more?

Read the news today:

Russian lawmakers could move to ban Americans from adopting children from the country -- which is one of the top sources of international adoptions to the United States.

A bill to block adoption to the United States passed the State Duma, Russia's lower house of parliament, on its first reading last week and it will be considered again Wednesday for a crucial second reading.

This could affect hundreds of American families seeking to adopt Russian children. From 1999 to 2011, 45,112 adoptions to the United States came from Russia, second to only China. However, the number of adoptions from Russia has waned in recent years after a peak in 2005.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/19/world/russia-adoption-u-s-ban/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

If these countries could resolve their differences, and people were screened better (I know its already pretty tough so I wonder how someone slips through the cracks) to avoid the very very few incapable/unwilling parents doing this for the wrong reasons slip through the cracks to avoid hurt and harm to the innocent children, so many lives can continue to be positively affected by adoption.
I do hope they are able to resolve their issues and not deny families coming together through this method. All the thousands of families touched positively by adoption can attest to the fact, I am sure, that this is a tough process but is positively life changing for everyone involved.

UPDATE:Very sad news. On 27th Dec, read the news that Putin has signed the law that bans the adoption of Russian children by US Citizens. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/28/world/europe/putin-to-sign-ban-on-us-adoptions-of-russian-children.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
This is devastating news in the world of Adoption. Parents who were ready to bring home their children, those who were adopting from there will all be affected by this. As will all those innocent children whose lives would have changed dramatically. Very sad news. I hope this doesn't affect adoptions to Canada. US/Kazakhstan adoptions still continue to be suspended. I wish politicians would not put politics before the needs of families and children.

Date in January with the Ministry

Latest update is that our in-country co-ordinator has to go in person to the ministry as its the first international application for adoption, so they will like to talk face to face and discuss the new process. This will happen in the first week of Jan probably. So, till then, we wait, we try to find a buyer for our home, we enjoy Christmas (Yes, of course we celebrate it, whats not to love about Christmas! :) ), and we enjoy the season and welcome the new year with a bang.
The ministry is going to be making so many dreams come true, hope they are quick with the process and understand how difficult it is but also how it is so rewarding to everyone. Lives will be changed forever, in a good way.

Cannot even begin to imagine how our life will be in the new year, our little Kaz baby in our new home, everyone welcoming her/him with open arms and an open heart. To 2013!

File in Aktobe. 1st in Line, we're told, after Kaz re-opened for International Adoptions this year.

Hurray! The file has reached our agency co-ord in Aktobe! Now she will attach all Kazakh translations and send it on its way. In a week the file will be in Astana. Apparently we will be the first in Kaz to submit the file to the Ministry of Education. Dont know if that's a good thing but perhaps that means that they will work on it quicker as there aren't any other files pending to work on for them.

Our house needs to sell soon so that we are prepared to leave anytime after end of December. Its been 5 days since the house got listed, have had 8 people come in for showings, and they seem to like it but we dont have any formal offer yet. Pls Universe! Pls!

Dossier on its way to Kaz and House for sale

Yesterday Liana sent off our Dossier to Aktobe. She expects it to be there in 5 days or so, then around 5 days for the Kazakh translations to be added by Tanya there and sent off to Astana. So, by 13th dec it should be in Astana.

In other news, the purchase of our new home is coming along well, and tomorrow (Friday) all conditions will be waived as well. Now we need to QUICKLY sell our own home. If anyone knows someone looking to buy a nice bright End Unit 2000 sq ft 4 Bedroom/3 Bath Townhome in Ottawa, Canada, pls let me know. :) It goes on Grapevine listing today and MLS next week.

Yippeee! Last Canadian part all done! File off to Kaz tomorrow!

Yippee!!! So Dee went to the Kaz consulate today and tried his best charms on them to try and convince them to give him the complete file today. And they did!!!
Yippee! Now the Dossier is on its way to Toronto to our agency co-ordinator, the lovely Liana, and then tomorrow she will be sending it on to Kazakhstan!!! On track to hear good news in January. Keeping our fingers crossed.

And tonight we sign the papers on the offer for our new home, closing end of March-to time it with the beginning of our lives with our little one!

Wow! 1005 visitors to the blog thus far.

Just a few days back I noticed it was about 300 something. To all of you who read the blog from all over the world, thanks for being here and following us on this journey. Pls pray that everything works out nicely for us with the least amount of hiccups if at all. Power of thought and power of prayer irrespective of region, religion, caste and creed has the strength to do a lot, IMHO. :)

Here's hoping Monday/Tuesday brings some good news. Amen.

P.S.: If you or anyone you know is currently in the process of adopting a baby from Kazakhstan, and live anywhere in the world not just Canada/USA, pls send me a msg and/or write a comment to let us know how things are in your corner of the world proceeding with the process. :)

Someone is slacking at the Embassy. Grrr! Kaz Consulate update

I wonder if the people working in the consulate in Ottawa are held to any productivity standards. It surely doesnt feel as if they are. It is now exactly 1 month since we sent the Dossier to the consulate. Excuses have come easily thus far. First, he's not here, then he's here but he needs more paperwork and needs even the index sheet stamped by the External affairs ministry in Canada. Then he promises Dee (my hubby) that the file will be ready for him to be picked up on Friday. Well, today is Friday and since Dee is out of town on work, I went to the consulate. Guess what!??? Niet. Nada. No. Monsieur Consul has again gone out somewhere and the file is still not completed. When I asked them why doesnt anyone answer the phone when Iv been trying to call since morning to avoid an unnecessary trip...I get a strange look saying "we must have been busy". Everytime someone has gone there it is empty! There is no one there! And how much work do they get everyday that they have still not completed a 1 month old file, I wonder!?

This is when they have no other adoption files to work on. I wonder when the files do start trickling in, what their turn around will be.

I doubt they realise that they are controlling the time when families will be created and completed. I doubt they care.Not happy. Yes, delays are normal, but someone working in Canada should at least be more productive.

Update after Liana's meeting at the Kazakhstan Consulate

So, Liana came to Ottawa from Toronto for the scheduled meeting. The consul, however, was not available all day till 3pm. We were in a bit of a panic as her train back was at 5:30pm and we knew he probably wouldn't complete the file that day as there was hardly any time then.
She met him when he called her in at 3pm and he went through the file and asked for some more papers from Liana which she will send today and also wanted the 1st page of the document-the index page stating what all pages are there in the Dossier-to be stamped by Foreign Affairs. :) By now, we almost expect something additional to be needed/asked for. So, today, Deepak will head back to the Foreign Affairs Ministry office (thank God we live in Ottawa itself!) and request them to stamp that 1st page. Hope they dont have a problem doing that.
Then he is to deliver the file himself to the consul and request him to allow him to pick it up next week as promised to Liana that the file will be completed by 23rd Nov. Which is next Friday. Arrgh!

So, now, we wait for 23rd November.

In other news... we made the mistake of looking at new homes on Sunday. Yes, mistake. Because we fell in love with one! So, now we're wondering, how we can prepare/list/sell our own home and buy/close both homes when we dont know when we will be asked to travel to Kaz. But one can't even put life on hold in anticipation of events to come. And we would love to start this new chapter of our lives in the home we saw and fell in love with. We can already envision our little one running around in her shirt and diaper, playing hide and seek with mommy and daddy and leaving toys all around for us to pick up...you get the picture.

So, in the middle of this anxiety-filled journey we may now be throwing in a dollop or 2 more of the same. Good thing is it will keep my mind and self occupied while we wait for the process to reach the referral stage.

Diwali diyas in our home. The festival of lights celebrating the win of light over darkness, good over evil.

Yesterday was Diwali, a big festival in India, and we celebrated by going to the Sikh temple (Gurudwara as it is called) for the evening prayers, and langar (community meal which btw is absolutely delicious and just so you know...free to the public so next time in Nov find out when Diwali is and head to the Gurudwara in your area to witness this lovely celebration). We couldn't help but think that next yr, hopefully, we will be going to the Gurudwara (Sikh temple) with our little one! Fingers crossed! Happy Diwali to everyone! May the goodness in all of us always win over the evil.

A pre-baby couple's getaway and Liana has an appointment with the Kaz consulate!

Liana has scored an appointment with the consul on the 14th November! Yippee! So, wednesday next week she will come up to Ottawa from Toronto to get him to work on our dossier. Let's hope he completes it and hands it over the same day to her. Then it goes to Kazakhstan for translation into Kazakh, notarize there, legalise there and put together and off to the Ministry of Education in Astana! We hope top hear some good news by end of Jan (finger crossed), if that happens.

Dee and I are taking a short break right now, at the Couples Resort in Whitney, Algonquin (3.5 hrs from Ottawa). We love coming here every 2 yrs or so. The fine dining, luxurious suites with the in-room jacuzzi, lake views from the suites/cabins, massages, spa, did I mention the fine dining... Mmm Love this place! Its our 4th or 5th time here and its great to unwind, and enjoy great 5 course meals.

Next update:  After Liana meets Mr Consul.

Kaz consulate update

Heard back from Liana today. The Kaz consul is finally back from his trip and said is busy right now with work, so will confirm next week if L can come down to Ottawa to see him in the 2nd week of November. We dont know if that means the dossier will be legalised (or whatever else they need to do to it in the Consulate here) when she sees him or that he will give an update about when that may happen. So, for now, we have no choice but to wait for about 2 weeks to see what happens. L says if we're lucky it may get done by then, or else it can sometimes sit in their office for months. I'd like to put faith in things and hope that its the former.

Pls pray for things to go well and as fast as possible, for us. The wait is the worst past, everyone rightly says.

Another young couple from Toronto (who I have a feeling we will meet somewhere along our journey in Kaz, if not go together or be there the same time at least for part of it), got their letter from immigration that their application is also good to go. So, that's 2 couples (us and them) who look forward to completing their families and meet their children hopefully in the next 3-4 months. Fingers crossed.

Apples are from Kazakhstan

I see that there are quite a few people reading this blog recently and perhaps waiting for updates. So, welcome and here goes. :)

The Dossier is now at the Kaz consulate here in Ottawa and we await the return of the person who handles them, hopefully this week (Its Sunday today). Liana will call on Wednesday and check. Since they are no dossiers submitted yet, ours should still be the first one, so hopefully should not take too long. (Fingers crossed)

While we wait, I am trying to find out more about the land that's so hard to get information about. Everyone seems to only say one word when they hear 'Kazakhstan', its that ridiculous character in a film that had nothing to do with it, which upsets me a bit since its rude and ignorant. So, I want to try and inform people while I learn more about this land as well.

Highly recommend 2 things. The first is a documentary series called 'Long Way Round' chronicling the journey of the famous actor Ewan Mcgregor (who btw is a father of 4 children, 2 of whom are adopted-1 from Mongolia) and his friend Charley, going around the world on a motorcycle. Its an amazing watch and very interesting since episode 4 is their journey through Kazakhstan (including a bit about Aktobe!) Its on youtube - a continuous 45 min episode each. The whole series is pretty awesome!

The other is a book I discovered out of all the other reading material I was able to find. Its called 'Apples are from Kazakhstan'. I love it! The author spent about a year living there, meeting people, researching its past and getting an understanding of who they are, how they think and why they think how they think. I think its a pretty awesome read (Im half thru and quite glad to have discovered it) and helps gain a lot of insight into this country which was closed to outsiders under the Russian rule.
Happy Reading! :) Its wonderfully encouraging & motivating hearing from all of you, so feel free to write to me personally or comment on the posts here.

Dossier ready and being sent to Kaz Consulate

So! Liana has recieved the marriage certificate copies authenticated by Foreign Affairs Canada and the dossier is now ready and complete. She will be sending it by courier to the Kaz consulate in Ottawa and call them next week to check when the Counsellor is coming back from his business trip and if she can arrange to come down personally to Ottawa and pick it up. Once that's done the Dossier goes to Kaz.

In other news, its very interesting to see that over 450 people have read this blog thus far! From countries like US, Canada, UK, Russia, Spain, UAE, Australia, India, Germany, Belgium, Ireland, Azerbaijan and more. If any of you are PAPs (Prospective Adoptive Parents), hope this can help you in some way. Being a blog under the new rules and guidelines after Kaz has re-opened, we hope this can save time and avoid any mistakes that we make along the way with paperwork and other processes, so that your children can come home and be with you sooner than expected. :)

Love hearing from you, feel free to leave comments and suggestions that may help us too, pls. 

Thank God for Dee! Marriage Cert authenticated by Foreign Affairs Canada!

After a few days of panic and contingency planning we are out of these woods!

Even poor Dad had to get involved and he spent half a day running around in Delhi at the FA ministry of India trying to see if they could attest our MC in Delhi, India. Finally I told him to wait for a day and to let us try and see if FA Canada will see how ridiculous this is and that they can and should accept our Canadian Notarised Indian Marriage Certificate.

Deepak took all his properly filed documents used for our immigration all those years back, citizenship and all other processes we have gone through over the years and never had a problem with our MC. He showed them to the lady at FA, Ottawa, convinced her that we couldn't possibly have gone through all that without it being a valid one and that we have no other choice but to give them a notarised copy at best. Thankfully, after seeing the original and all the documents Dee had from the processes before, she agreed and authenticated it right then and there! Whew!

Its going to cost us 3 weeks, since the Kaz consul has gone away on business now, and due to this delay Liana missed the meeting she was planning on this week with him. Now he is supposed to be back 1st week of November so she can only meet him then to get our file legalised at the Kaz consulate. That's the next hurdle before the dossier is sent to Kaz. So, for now, Liana has all the docs, everything is GTG for the Kaz consulate and now we just wait till he gets back.

No Can Do, says Indian Embassy.

Great! So, Dee went to the Indian embassy here in Ottawa and they have said very clearly that they do not sign and stamp copies of marriage certificates or attest them. SInce Foreign Affairs only wants that, don't know what's going to happen. Now we're waiting for Liana to send us the notarised copies of the MC so that Dee can take them to FAffairs and tell them this is the only option as the embassy says they dont do what FA wants. ANd there's no way we're going to go to India just to get our MC attested from the FA ministry there and then the embassy here will consider putting a stamp. So, when your own country of birth decides to not accept that their own documents and help their ex-citizens when all logic proves that the 1st thing we would have had proven true would be the MC for our work permits, immigration, OCI (Overseas Citizen of India), Canadian Citizenship etc...that says something about things.

Foreign Affairs Canada. Hiccup.

Ok, so the documents have all been translated and were sent to Foreign Affairs last week. Heard back today from Liana saying everything save for 1 did not get authenticated. What I was fearing-Our Marriage Certificate from India. This will cost us dearly in terms of time, because the Kaz consul is going away on business and wont be back till mid-November. :( SO if we miss the appointment this week we lose about a month. No fixing that now. So, if you're married anywhere except in Ontario PLS, CALL FOREIGN AFFAIRS FIRST AND CHECK WHAT YOU NEED TO DO ABOUT THE CERT so you can avoid this delay.
Its not too hard a fix, just some work

• we now have to go to the Indian embassy, 
• find a way to get them to sign and stamp copies of our marriage certificate,
• take those to the Foreign Affairs office 
• get them to authenticate it
• send it again to Liana in Toronto.

The sad part is that the process is delayed because the Kaz consul is going out of town till November, so Liana cant get the documents signed off at the Kazakhstan Consulate till he is back.

Ah well, it is what it is. We've got to believe there is a reason for this delay. Im always reminded of that movie 'The Adjustment Bureau' when there are delays in life. You miss a train, you dont reach where you were supposed to, etc...its all part of the big plan. Adjustments made to our life so that we can meet who we have to, be where we actually need to at the time we need to.

So, while we're disappointed with this delay that will cost us about a month now,there must be a reason for it, its just that we dont see it right now. And all this will be a distant memory once this whole process is complete and we meet our child. :)

Documents sent for Dossier to our agency co-ordinator, the lovely Liana..

Yesterday was a rush rush day with us scrambling to get photocopies, colored ones esp for our pics scanned together on an A4, marriage certs, colored passport copies, getting 3x4cm pics clicked for more forms (for the Kaz consulate registeration) and getting the money order (in USD!). You can get them from the Post Office by the way, which was good to know. All done, we scrambled to reach Purolator before their 7:30pm closing time and made it in the nick of time! Whew!
So, Liana should have everything today, in Toronto.

Most of the translations are complete and the rest will be done by tomorrow (into Russian and Kazakh) so by late Thursday or Friday she should be able to start the next steps. These are:

• Liana needs to have them witnessed and signed
• Have the translations attached to them
• Authentication at Foreign Affairs Canada, and then 
• The Kazakh Consulate in Ottawa. 

She is hoping to bring the dossier herself and take a train to Ottawa to see the person incharge of Adoptions, at the Kaz Consulate by Friday next week as long as Foreign Affairs can do the authentication quickly. So for now, we wait to see by when FA will return the dossier.

She also mentioned that the wait for a referral, once the dossier is sent to Kaz, might not even be the full 3 month period but shorter since there are so many children on the database up for adoption since there Kaz was closed for adoptions for the last 2 yrs almost. I feel so sad thinking about all those children who lost out on having homes and parents who gave up because of Kaz closing down. 

Letter of Sponsorship from Immigration!

Yippee!!! Just recieved the letter from immigration confirming we are GTG for sponsorship and our file looks good. Now this letter along with all other documents are being translated into Russian and Kazakh by Liana's contacts. Once that's done and a few more forms signed this week, she will bring our Dossier to the Kaz consulate here in Ottawa for approval and then the dossier is sent to Kaz!
Hoping it will be sent to Kaz by mid-Oct. Then we wait for 3 months, as per the timeline.

Everything is on track and going as per schedule. Touchwood. Let's hope it stays that way.

And we just completed 4 months from the official start of this journey. Our Home Study started on 1st June 2012. 

Ramblings...

Its amazing how supportive everyone in our life has been about our decision to add to our family through adoption. In my mind I was always prepared for adoption. It just always made sense to me, even when I was in college. Somehow I always assumed that we would adopt at some stage of our life, though I did think it would be for our second child. But after some years of waiting and things not going as planned for many reasons, not all what people may think frankly, but we finally decided that was ridiculous. Why not our first!? IVF is not even an option I wanted to consider. Fertility was not the issue here and then for many other reasons, but that's not the point of this post. Simply put, we wanted to be parents and there are many children in the world who, for no fault of theirs, are left without parents and need a mommy and daddy. Simply put. So, the story began.

Many comment on how lucky the baby is going to be, some on how happy we will be and all on how our lives are about to change! Everyone is correct, Im not going to deny. The fact is this is a win-win for everyone involved. The baby, us, our families, people involved in the process. Yes, the baby is going to be lucky to be joining a wonderful extended family with so many wonderful cousins, a multi-racial/trans-racial family with cousins who probably will look like her/him and many who won't. (But then that's what makes the world a pretty place. If everyone looked the same imagine how boring it would be (and to be honest, like one of those science-fiction movies with everyone being a clone!)). And the awesome grandparents! A 1 min chat with Nyda will confirm to you how much she dotes on her Nani and Nana (maternal grandparents in hindi) by the no. of times she calls them. ;) And more importantly how lucky we are going to be, to welcome a bundle of joy into our lives and give our lives more meaning.

I can promise you, little one, we may fumble in the beginning, we may freak out when you cry and dont stop because everything is so new to you including being pulled out of anything familiar to you, including the language people speak around you right now, and being put into a whole different part of the world where every single thing and experience, smell and sensation will be different and new for you. But we will not give up. Ever. We will only love you more and more every day and support you and help you become the best of who you are.

I dont care if you grow up to be straight or gay, become an engineer or a photographer, live in the city or a small town. What we hope to teach you throughout your life is that all that does not define you. What defines you is the kind of human being you are. How you treat others, esp those less fortunate than us. How much of what you get, including love, you give back to the world. How you treat those who care about you and those who don't. We will try our best to make sure you have a solid foundation of good values, a good education and all learning opportunities that you want and work for, along with try and show you a lot of what this beautiful planet and life have to offer in terms of art, travel, history, architecture, literature, and so much more.
We also want you to grow up to be humble & modest and remember that money may come and go, but the relationships that are most important to us are what give us strength, keep us going and to always keep working on them and not take them for granted. To love with your whole heart and not hold back even if you're afraid of losing that person. Ever. Live and love with your whole heart. Always. No holds barred.

But till you're older and not a little person, I just promise to read you loads of fairy tales and make up magical stories for you, make wierd faces and funny tunes and entertain you till we're both exhausted. every single day along with all the other fun stuff. ;)

Can't wait, baby, can't wait!

Ah Well! Immigration.

So, after the happy morning of finding out we got the letter of approval this morning, just recvd the immigration package back from the CIC after 2 full weeks, saying there are 2 errors on the form. Being crazy busy that he is and with his work trip to India the next day, looks like Dee forgot to sign in 2 places in lieu of the child being sponsored. :(
So, yeah, am a bit miffed now. That should be about a 2-3 week delay now if we're lucky and if there are no further errors or diff ways they need it filled/docs they need. Looks like Susan Miller was right about bad effects of the monster moon on me this weekend +/= 5 days. :(

26th Sept 9:30am > Forms corrected and file re-sent by express post to Immigration again. Fingers crossed.
Liana did email this morning and confirmed that all is well at the Kaz consulate and they are ready to accept adoption dossiers and that all is on track. phew.

Letter of Approval!

Yesss! Its here! The Letter of approval from the Ministry of Children and Youth Services here in Canada. Big step done. We're officially approved to be parents! It took about 5.5 weeks. The timeline is upto 2 months usually so we're happy its here sooner. :)

Now let's get that baby of ours that we've been waiting for all our life and who is unknowingly waiting for us and we can be a family. :)

Waiting, now, for the letter from immigration canada confirming our application of sponsorship for the baby. Should be here within a week more hopefully (its been 2 weeks today since we sent in the app) and then Liana takes our dossier personally to the Kaz consulate here in Ottawa for approval, legalising and translation. And then we wait...

Waiting for Ministry Approval

So its been a few weeks since our file was submitted to the Ministry of Children and Youth Services. We have since been advised by Diane that she spoke to someone at the ministry who wanted the "quotation" marks removed but otherwise the HS looked great. Diane quickly sent in the corrected papers the same day and the lady from the ministry advised her that she was recommending the approval to the director now and that we should get the approval letter within a week or so. This was last week so Im guessing the approval should be in the mail now!

Also, we got a bit delayed (or maybe not, after all since the approval letter is still awaited) and we were advised to file the sponsorship papers to Immigration Canada. The letter from CIC confirming that a file had been opened for the child's sponsorship is required with the rest of the paperwork which will be sent to the Kazakh consulate for legalisation and approval. We recvd the file no. by email within a week of sending the docs in so now we are just waiting for the official letter stating the same. Should be here by next week perhaps.

The new medical forms for Kaz adoptions is being filled by Dr Kap as we speak and so by next week the file should be ready to be sent to Liana so that she can bring it to the Kaz consulate beginning of October. And then...we wait...and hope...and pray.

In the meanwhile Deepak & I visited my family in California and attended a beautiful wedding in Napa Valley (Ric & Andrea's). Here are 2 pics from our trip. 

Feeding the ducks with my aunt and sister-in-law at their lakefront home near Sacramento

My gorgeous Indo-Chinese nephews: Guru, Vijay, Sanjay & Ajay. How could a Kazakh baby not fit in! :)

With Jim, Luma and Monica at R&A's beautiful Napa wedding

I have also been shortlisting gorgeous strollers. Stokke, Quinny Moodd, Baby Jogger City mini GT and the Mamas & Papas Sola having made the final shortlist. nothing but the best for our baby! :)

1st Trimester is now complete!

Signing the home study report with Diane. 15th August 2012. On our 10th wedding Anniversary!

A Milestone! Yesterday was a BIG day for us. Our 10th Anniversary. AND we signed our home study report! Yippee!!! Diane has been wonderful with us and working with our timeline. Usually she likes to work with PAPs (Prospective Adoptive Parents) for at least a full season, and we know from our PRIDE sessions that there are practitioners who take 6 months and more as well, so when Diane worked with us to complete it within 2.5 months (and told us to mention to any other PAPs that its the first and last time she will probably work this fast) :) In her own words, "The stars seem to be so well aligned for both of you, there was no way I was going to be the one falling out of alignment!" Thank you Thank you Diane!

In other news, we recieved our very first present! Ranjeet, a friend of mine from IIHM days, sent a funny book for daddy-to-be Deepak, "what to expect when your wife is expanding". While the baby is not growing in mummy's tummy but in her heart, I think daddy will definitely enjoy reading this. Plus it has tips at the end for all new fathers, however the baby might be coming into their lives. Thanks Ranju!

And we bought our first baby furniture! A lovely real wood 'Silver Cross' vintage high chair! My mom had a wood high chair when she was a baby and I always wanted one for my child whenever we would have one-and now we do! So there. Preparations have now begun.

Liana, our lovely agency co-ordinator in Toronto, has been sent all the documents with the Home Study report yesterday evening and as soon as she recieves it tomorrow morning, she will be sending them to the Ministry here in Canada for approval. Now we await the coveted Approval Letter.

Deepak signs the home study report, while Diane, our Adoption Practitioner, looks on.

The First Trimester is officially complete!

PRIDE Training & Home Study

Yippee! All the medical tests are done and all clear for the Home Study! Thanks Dr Kap and the rest of her awesome team at the clinic!

Our new friends, Heather and Roy, at PRIDE in Toronto.

The lovely and large hearted - Amazing Annette

You did it! Annette gives Dee our PRIDE certificate, in Toronto. 4 Days of learning, emotional roller coaster and new friendships.

Dee & I with our wonderful trainers, Angela & Annette

Travels since the last post. Las Vegas, Scotland, England and more.

Hmmm! So its been a few weeks since I last wrote here. Along with many other developments which I will talk about in the next post, we did quite a bit of travelling around in June.
I decided to jet off to Las Vegas (Woohoo!) to meet my darling friend, Rohini, for a few days. It was wonderful to meet her hubby Manish and her cute little daughter Amelia. We spent an amazing time together and I will cherish those memories we created.

Rohini and I used to share an apartment along with Pooja, our other close friend (who has the biggest heart possible btw!), in Melbourne, Australia back in 1999/2000 when we were all single and very ready to mingle. :) Ok ok, jokes apart, we have a beautiful friendship and just love to share whatever is happening in our lives. Even if its not that frequent as it was when we were both in India, we both know one phone call or FB msg and we're the same giggly, crazy girls we were in GE. :)

Apart from that, Dee and I took our annual 2 week European vacation in June as well. This time to co-incide with my 34th Birthday! We decided to do a road trip across the UK and discover Scotland and England. WOW! Breathtaking! Beautiful beyond words! Rich with history, just like we love! Wallace monument in Sterling (Braveheart!), Doune Castle, Scone Palace, Dundee, Kingdom of Fife including the worldfamous Anstruther fish bar, Cambo house, the beautiful centuries old town of St Andrews (Where Kate & William met and fell in love, sigh!), the magical city of Edinburgh with the lovely Holyrood Castle where Mary-Queen of Scots lived as well, driving down via the scenic Robert the Bruce trail through Yorkshire, spending time with Natasha in the tiny but full of character hamlet of Hebden Bridge, walking around the moors that inspired the Bronte sisters in Haworth (Ah! Heathcliffe!), the lovely old town of Bath, mystical Stonehenge and then of course full of history, culture, art, amazing food, Harrods...ok ok you get it... London! Whew! It was exhausting but oh so wonderful!!!! Just what we both needed I think before we dived into all the paperwork and the trainings and all the fun stuff that this journey is going to take us on.
And boy, were we ready to deal with it all, after this short break out of country, together! :)

Process of Adopting Internationally: Some answers to your questions

A few people with whom we shared our decision to adopt have been asking "have you thought about adopting this way...or that" Having read some books, or hearing stories from people in the past or someone who knows someone who adopted, these questions are expected and fair. And while I have explained to those in the know a little bit about the process, how we arrived at this decision and the legalities involved, I thought the below link might give them a better idea of what I mean.

http://www.adoptiveparents.ca/on_intadoption2.shtml
 An impt pt in the above link to note is "You must have Ministry approval before you proceed with the adoption. It is an offence under the law to pursue an intercountry adoption without Ministry approval." 

 Which rules out any under-the-radar way of adopting one might have heard about in the past. And with something this important you dont want to do anything at all that may jeopardise your family once your baby is home. Now, with strict regulations and licensing you may adopt internationally ONLY through a licensed agency in each country (eg. India has given license to only around 3-4 agencies appx throughout Canada, and same for Russia.) Relative adoptions are treated a little differently, but since no relative has offered their baby to us (imagine the complications!) I won't discuss the legalities of that here.

In many ways it is because procedures were lax and people abused it on both ends, the orphanages who didnt make sure kids were truly abandoned/orphans before giving them to parents internationally because of the high fees they get from the international families compared to the domestic ones from whom they get 1/10th or less. And the other side where people abused and illtreated adopted kids or worse they were used in child trafficking. So, it is good that there is better regulation, but there are just too many children who deserve and need a home and lengthy and difficult processes can break even the strongest of resolves to go through with it. We can all do better.

Love is meant to be shared.

"By adopting a child and helping them reach their potential they help us reach ours.
An adopted child is not an unwanted child. To the contrary, it is a child who was searched for, prayed for, cried for, begged for; received by arms that ached making empty hearts full. Love is meant to be shared"  Author Unknown.

Gracious answers to some awkward questions about adopted kids

Gracious Answers To Awkward Questions About Our Adopted Kids

by Deborah McCurdy, MSW

When we adopt a child who looks different from us, we generally feel we can handle the stares and loss of privacy that go with the territory. We may find, however, that the frequent questions and comments of strangers and relatives sometimes annoy and worry us. At the heart of our anger and anxiety is the fear that our adopted child will be hurt by thoughtless questions, or that their older siblings, who look less exotic, will feel neglected, but this need not happen.

It is reassuring to realize that even seemingly insensitive questions are nearly always well intentioned, and that they actually provide an excellent opportunity to express our delight and pride in our adopted children (as well as in their siblings who were born to us). The attention that our children receive is generally very positive, even when the inquirer's choice of words is not ideal.
Our answers to questions about a foreign-born child should also include any bio-kids who are present:

Q: Where did you get this dear little one? Where is she from?
A: She was born in Korea, and her brother here was born in Albany. (Most people will pick up on your inclusion of the older child and start including him, too, if you furnish answers about both to each question asked about the adopted child.)

We can start early to practice answers that will affirm the children, preparing for the day when they will be old enough to understand:

Q: And do you also have children of your own?
A: Just these two. (This affirms adopted kids as our own.)
Q: Are they real brother and sister?
A: They are now! (This clarifies that adoption makes us a real family.                     Q: Isn't she a lucky little girl? What wonderful people you are!                                A: We're lucky too, to have such a wonderful child!                                                    Q: How could the mother have given up such a lovely child?                                       A: It would have been very hard for the birth mother, but she just couldn't take care of any baby. (This reassures the child that there was nothing wrong with him or her.)                                                                                                                               Q: What do you know about the real parents?                                                                 A: Well, we're his real parents, actually, since we're bringing him up.                      Q: Oh, of course - I meant the natural parents.                                                            A: We don't know very much about the birth parents. How have you been? How was your summer?

In nearly all cases, the questions reflect pleasure and delight in our families, and they can generally be answered very briefly and cheerfully, with a smile. If you are out shopping it is fairly easy to avoid prolonging the discussion by saying, " Bye , now!" and moving from the peaches to the potatoes. If we are trapped into a longer conversation in a supermarket line or in a social situation (and the children are old enough to understand what is said), we have several options:

1. Give a constructive response, then change the subject.
2. Answer with, "I'm glad you're interested in adoption. Let me give you my phone number and we can talk later. Can you call me tonight?"
3. Give an oblique answer, rather than a direct one, if it seems a direct answer to a particular question would be awkward for us, the questioner, or the children:

Q: How much does an adoption cost these days?
A: It's about the same as giving birth in a hospital, if you don't have maternity coverage and allow for complications. (Yes, you can faint now! ;))
Q: Do you have any pictures of his parents?
A: Oh yes, we've got albums of our whole family.

Responses such as the above can gently educate others, especially if said with a smile. But we are answering primarily for our children's ears. In the few seconds that we have to prepare our response, we need to make a quick decision as to what words will best support our child's self-esteem, protect the child's privacy about his origins, and/or clarify that adoption builds "real" families with their "own" children. (The right answers come more quickly with practice.) Until more people learn the modern vocabulary of "birth parents" and "children by birth" we're bound to be asked occasional seemingly insensitive questions about the child's "real parents" and our "own" children. I believe that the fault is really in our outdated language more than in the person asking an awkward question. True, some people are not as sensitive as they might be, but usually they have a genuine interest and we would rather not embarrass them (and risk making things worse). We can generally find a gracious answer which will affirm the child without sounding critical of the person asking the question.

 In a pinch, humor can save the day:

Q: Are you babysitting?
A: No time for that, now that I have these two of my own!
Q: Whose little darlings are these?
A: Ours! We adopted the big boys from Korea, and the two-year-old is homemade. (Some of us may find it helpful to volunteer all this information to forestall a subsequent question about whether the child who matches us is "our own.")

. In our early discussions with our children about birth-parents, we can explain that "real parents" are actually people who are bringing up children who are their own by birth or adoption, and that many people are confused about this. This point should ideally be made before kindergarten, where other children may question our children about their "real parents" when we're not there to explain that that's who we are!
Our agencies stand ready to assist us with any post-finalization problems we may have, and our adoptive parent support group can help as well.

Although we may not always feel comfortable about having our family the center of so much attention, the situation certainly does have it benefits. For one thing, the subject of adoption comes up naturally on many occasions, so we develop comfort in discussing adoption in our children's presence even before they understand the concept. Also, the encounters give us frequent opportunities to say positive, supportive about our children (and about adoption) with their hearing.

Some people have observed that adopted children who don't outwardly resemble their families often tend to feel more positive about their adoption than those who match the adoptive parents. This is presumably because the fact of adoption is so obvious that the subject has necessarily been an open one from the time of the child's arrival. It is something the child has always known, rather than a subject to be breached someday with trepidation as a potentially shocking fact of life.

Deborah McCurdy, MSW is Adoption Supervisor at Beacon Adoption Center in Great Barrington, MA. She is also the mother of a Colombian-born son.

10 days since...

1st June. That's the day we officially started the process to bring you home, little one. The day we met Diane Thornton, our home study adoption practitioner. She is the one who will help set thing in motion by a 2mnth (hopefully not longer than that) process through a series of interviews and home visits that we are fit to be parents, mentally, physically, financially, emotionally and every other 'ally'. Its strange when you think about it, you dont need any qualification, training, etc to be a birth parent but should you choose to bring home a little bundle of joy that you didnt give birth to physically you have to prove yourself. Im fine with that, its to safeguard the little ones, but just a point that comes to mind.

So, we had our 1st interview/meeting with Diane on 1st of June 2012. It went wonderfully well and after 1.5 hrs she declared she was very excited and happy to be working with us and she was with us 100% and would do whatever needed done as soon as we wanted it done and could get the necessary processes completed before she writes our homestudy report! And after that she wanted to stay friends with us once her 'job' was done. She is also the one who will complete the legally required follow up visits for 3 years after our baby comes home to us.

On 4th June I flew to Las Vegas on a pretty impromptu trip to meet my close friend Rohini, her 1.5 yr old lovely lil Amelia and hubby, Manish. It was just what I needed, she and I talked a lot and I sounded off a few fears I was having after reading things online and she helped me calm down a bit and we had a lovely time walking around Vegas and just being the girls we were back in Melbourne, Australia, when we lived together in the same apartment in QEW. Thank God for good friends! :)

I flew back on 7th after a cancelled flight the night before and very stressed cause I didnt want to miss a meeting at CAS, which I did and Deepak had to go attend it instead, alone. But I got home safe by 7th just before midnight to also wish your chachu, Vinay, a happy birthday. :) 8th morning was our 2nd interview with Diane, and we discussed more things and I told her about my fears about FAS and what I had read about it. She told me to avoid reading things written on American sites as their regulations, ways were very different and Canada being the conservative, very careful country that it is may make the process seem even more difficult, tedious and long, at the end it is for the best and she didnt know of children with FAS. STill, its better to be informed and aware than be caught by surprise.

At the end of the day, I think, we pray that you are being loved right now wherever you are, safe in whosoever's arms you are in right now, and protected by your surroundings, till we find you and bring you home. After that should something come up health wise, well, you are our child and we'll deal with it like any good family does. We will find the best resources and help you be the best you can be. That I can promise you. So, 10 days closer to meeting you, little one. Baby Steps. Hang in there, and stay strong.

Once Upon A Time

"Once upon a time..."
That's how most fairytales begin, and that is perhaps the way our story shall also begin. One that we will tell our lil 'dorogaya' (which means 'darling' in Russian) once she/he is in our lives about how we all found each other and how he/she grew not in mummy's tummy but in mummy & daddy's heart. About how, truly like in a fairy tale, after trials and tribulations, and voyages across the seas, villians who made things diffcult and angels who saved the day, we became a family. And lived happily ever after. :)

Hopefully by this time next year, if we are lucky and if things fall into place which Im sure they will (fingers crossed).
 This blog will be our diary through this journey. The journey from being husband and wife, to that of being Mommy and Daddy.

We know there will be highs and lows, ups and downs, moments which will be scary, emotionally painful & those that will give us hope which will remind us that at the end this will be so worth everything that we go through. But isnt that what having a baby by birth also involves? The fear of something going wrong along the way, but the hope that we will all make it through safely, the pain involved, the emotional rollercoaster, etc. But everything is worth it the second you see your baby! And that...is what we will keep reminding ourselves when it seems tough or impossible to go through.

For I know in my heart that somewhere right now tens of thousands of miles away, across the world, there lies a little baby in a cot or cradle that is waiting for us. Our baby! Our dorogaya!

Now, all that we have to do, is not give up trying to bring him/her home, to do whatever it takes so she/he can come home and we are a family. So, dear God, keep our baby safe, wherever he/she is, till we are all home together. Amen.